Trying This Again

So although the website has been here the whole time, I've been missing in action. Dealing with depression, and daily life, ups and downs with my health, staying motivated and just doing anything! 

I can't really blame the pandemic because I've been blessed to continue working, as well as my family, overall staying healthy as far as no flu, caugh, and well you know since the beginning of last year! And the start of a new year 2021 in blessed to be able to replace my 97 Jeep Grand Cherokee for a 2015 Jeep Compass! Not my dream car but a needed upgrade as my Red baby was telling me it was time to let go! My Cherokee now sits at my brother's house dead, while he decides what to do with it. I'm blessed for all the good. 

But I've also been filled with uncertainty like many, my job has been in the verge of ending for the last few years, and this year even more uncertainty. And with jobs be scares and the health scares out there and me having to fix my own health. Oh, did I forget to mention that I was diagnosed with Diabetes and have had nerve issues in my hands and feet! And just over have had no mental or physical stamina to even clean my room, I've been reorganizing for a month now. Haven gotten myself to work out at all. BUT I've been slowly improving my diet and finally started feeling some energy and a little more motivation to better myself again. My thing right now is trying to figure out this entrepreneur thing out(I'm moving very slow). Because I'm more and more getting to a place where I don't want to work for anyone else anymore and I don't want to my health to get any worst. I'm 44 now, I work with guys in their 70s, I don't want to be that she still living check to check. And in to of it in a caregiver for my mother that I'm so grateful to still have BUT I'm no where ready of anything were to happen to her! 

Now I have no idea what I'm doing, or what to do, I watch these tiktokers create successful businesses just spinning paint on a canvas! And I barely sell a shirt a year! Now I'm not comparing. I know I can be just as successful but what the hell am I missing? 

But that's why I'm here now, I don't want to give up! I still don't know what I'm doing but I'm here, trying to figure it out! As much as I'm struggling mentally I really want to get things moving. If I could at least break even with my current pay that would be a great start! And I'd like to be there in the next few months.... I don't know what will happen but I'm here and once again I'm trying,  "one thought,  one breath, and one step at a time!